Puerto Rico, You Lovely Island

From June, 2010 Resident magazine

I’m going to take you on a trip.

It began with a taxi ride to JFK ($53 plus toll and tip). It was eleven a.m. with no traffic so I got there in just thirty-five minutes. Check-in at JetBlue airline went quickly and I obtained my boarding pass with speedy ease. With nothing to check I was George Clooney in Up in the Air zipping towards the gate with only carry-ons: purse, laptop in backpack and rolling suitcase.

The roundtrip flight to San Juan cost $350. If I’d had patience to hunt down cheaper fares I could’ve gotten a better deal but my trip was a spur of the moment splurge to get away and de-stress.

I settled into my window seat and had a pleasant trip thanks to friendly, attentive flight attendants—a rare commodity these days. The man next to me had breath that smelled like decayed teeth, not pleasant. But he was quite pleasant so it was ok. I learned something about myself. I’d rather have a nice smelly person next to me than a mean fragrant person.

The flight took just under four hours. Upon landing, cell phones were whipped out as if choreographed with the precision of Rockettes. The nice decaying-teeth man shouted into his phone. I mean really shouted. I think older people think you have to do that. If I ever do that just shoot me.

I got a cab from the airport to the San Juan Marriott Resort & Stellaris Casino. The lobby was a-buzzing and the staff welcoming. First thing I noticed in my room were eight down pillows on a king size bed. Ahhh. When I opened the curtains to check out the view I was awestruck by endless cobalt blue sky and turquoise waves breaking on the beach.

I ate a late dinner Sunday night at a hip place called Jam. Chic with mod-like-the-Sixties bright oranges and reds also included a wall with plush fuscia carpeting affixed. I ran my hand across it and found it delectably soft. As the cute charming waiter described the never-ending list of rum drinks my mouth watered. Most of my meal was rich and tasty but I didn’t care for the deep-fried side dish of tapas. My favorite part of the meal was my spinach salad served with fresh sweet baby spinach and walnuts. It came with a blue cheese dressing. Dessert was chocolate mousse with a side of chocolate chip cookie. It was sinful and creamy. The bill for dinner was $65. It was well worth it and I went to bed quite content with a nice full belly.

Wherever I wanted to go, the hotel arranged a car pick-up. There are many ways to tour picturesque Old San Juan—walking tours, horse-drawn carriages, bikes. Monday morning I chose the bicycle guided tour offered by a company aptly called, Rent-the-Bicycle. They lived up to claims on their website, rentthebicycle.net. The owners of the company are a married couple who met while they worked in banks and finance. But both grew tired of their jobs and wanted a new adventure. They opened the bike tour company which turned out to be a wise move, it’s the only bike tour company in San Juan so they do quite well financially while also enjoying their work. They were both born in Puerto Rico and have not traveled outside of it. When I asked if they were curious about the rest of the world they said, “No, we live in a beautiful place and we feel very happy here.” The couple are accessible and friendly. Because they are natives, they offer a unique experience to many sites unknown to tourists. The bikes are in great condition and the guides alert and concerned with safety. Note: these tours are not for kids, you must be eighteen or older.

My three-hour tour was with a handful of other travelers. We started with a ride to breakfast at a café named Majorka. The owner was born in Puerto Rico and lived his entire life there but named his restaurant after Majorka, Spain. I never found out why. Though the owner came to greet us with a smile he spoke no English. Photos of him in the café, over the long stretch of years, adorned the walls plus one large painting of Majorka, Spain.

After breakfast we continued our ride through Old San Juan and saw breathtaking views of ocean, palm trees and quaint narrow cobblestone streets with brightly colored houses. We stopped at a Bacardi rum distillery where the huge display of rums was drool-worthy. Luckily they gave out tastes of more types of rum drinks than I knew existed—rum with orange juice, papaya, mango, fruit punch, coke and everything else under the Puerto Rican sun. On our ride back we came upon a kitten that couldn’t have been more than a week old. It was crying and there was no mama cat in sight. Knowing that the little thing was helpless we rescued him and put him inside one of the bike helmuts in a bike’s basket. We named him Helmut and talked the kind owners of the bike shop into keeping him and giving him a good home. It was one highlight of the trip.

After the bike tour lunch at La Fonda del Jibarito. They offered delicious local cuisine—mofongo, pastels, tostones and baked tapas that I liked. Then it was back to the hotel and a leisurely afternoon near the hotel’s amazing pool. The hotel actually has two pools, one with a slide into the water and a drink bar, the other with gorgeous fountains in the middle cascading into the pool. That evening I ate dinner at a nearby restaurant named Atlantica. Sixty dollars included entrée, wine, tapas and dessert. After eating I took advantage of the hotel’s free Blackjack lessons in the casino.

Tuesday I went on a group boat cruise with East Island Excursions (eastwindcats.com) for $225 per person. The weather was perfect and we did some snorkeling, then Captain Tyrone took us to a small island name Icacos that looked out on the northeast tip of Puerto Rico. It was near the Cape San Juan lighthouse. The captain said we were not far from one of the points of the Bermuda triangle. He said he’d wanted a low-stress life so these chartered boat cruises are his only job. He asked us if we minded the reggae music. None of us did and it was fun watching his baby dreds bounce to the beat.
When I returned to the hotel I was tired from all of that sun and headed for the hotel’s luxurious Ocean Club Spa. I sat in the sauna for twenty minutes then the masseur came to collect me for my one-hour Swedish massage. For $130 I got every kink worked out of my neck and back. My feet, which take such a pounding on city concrete, were also soothed and walked out of there smiling.

That evening I enjoyed dinner for $65 at Tuscany Ristorante, one of the hotel restaurants. I chowed down on a feast of veal, pasta, salad and rich mocha mousse then went back to my room, sat out on the balcony deck with my laptop and a warm breeze. When I grew tired I joined my eight down pillows and smooth cotton sheets and floated off to sleep.

The next day was back to the San Juan airport via car service. Not a thing went wrong and I got back to my New York apartment and was greeted at the door with love by my Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and my boyfriend. It was a perfect quick getaway.