Happy Cat Month
Anyone who meets me knows I’m obsessed with dogs. Especially my dog. You may not know that I grew up with a stray that my family took in. The only problem was my mother’s severe allergy to cats. Mom’s eyes swell up, and she breaks out in a sneezing fit. The solution was to make a cozy home for our kitty in the garage. She was happy with the trifecta: a loving family, privacy, and freedom.
Cat Named Telka
My oldest sister named the cat Telka after an Egyptian princess. I envisioned a royal family with dark hair and olive skin — in retrospect, they looked suspiciously like my family. The princess had long black hair, large brown eyes, and full lips like Cleopatra but with my sister’s face.
However, I recently googled ‘Telka Egyptian Princess,’ and it appears there was no Egyptian princess with that name. In fact, I can’t find any princess from any country named Telka. Oh well, that only makes the memories more magical.
Telka waited for me every day. She sat at the curb across the street from my elementary school. I have no idea how long she sat there, but she had an internal clock for meals, so she must’ve sensed when it was time to come get me. I’d cross the street and greet her with a scratch behind her ears. Her reaction was to elicit loud, long purrs. Then, as we began to walk, she would rub her body against my legs, which made her purr louder. She walked around my legs, weaving as if drawing the infinity symbol.
I knew she was saying, “I love you to infinity.
My childhood home was a block-and-a-half from school. Upon arriving at the front doorstep she’d purr again, then run off to chase birds. The only thing I wasn’t crazy about was her proclivity for bringing me “presents.” Her gifts were poor little dead birds left in front of the door. Not only was it sad, it was disgusting to clean them up.
“Such adorable serial killers cats are,” said my Facebook pal Dan Collins. “When we got our cat Muffin, the family was overcome by his overwhelming cuteness. He was a little lint ball of a gray kitten. Who knew he would mature into Catzilla? At his best, Muffin was a lovable curmudgeon. At worst, he was a vet’s nemesis and the inspiration for Stephen King’s “IT.” Muffin never brought us a bird, but he was quite a good mouser.”
I asked my 2D and 3D friends what makes their cats purr. Here are the funny responses:
Lara B. Sharp, freelance writer said, “My cat Oscar purrs as loud as an idling truck when he sees the only non cat food he will eat. It’s nacho cheese Doritos. Poor little Oscar. He can’t meow properly. He walks around the house saying , “Wow, wow, wow.” But he makes up for his inabilities with an over abundance of enthusiasm. I say, “Oscar!” and he says, “Wow!” like he’s stunned that I have the ability to talk so he makes me feel like a genius.”
Andrea Beitler, who works for the nonprofit USO (United Services Organizations) said, “My cat loves licking plastic bags at night while I’m trying to sleep. He also loves snuggling. His name is Stimpy and we have a Chihuahua named Ren. Stimpy thinks he is the Lord of the Laundry. He loves lying on laundry piles. He also enjoys chasing his tail and bopping Ren on his head. He’s content lying in gift wrap at the bottom of a box. I never see him anymore. I just hear crinkle, crinkle. I tried to get a photo of Stimpy and Ren together but as you can see Stimpy gave me a look that said, “I will not sit with that lowly plebeian — even if it is for a picture.”
Melinda Dalke, the artist of Laughing Paws Art Studio adopts rescue cats. She said, “Miso and Saki love playing fetch. Sedona enjoys watching birds, Mocha loves my lap and Rebel loves everything —especially food.”
Freelance writer Shelley Renee said, “My cat’s name is Sebastian. He is a funny cat. Whoever thought up the term ‘catnap’ to mean a quick little snooze obviously never had a cat. Sebastian naps for about 20 hours a day. The other activity that he’s fond of is eating. Other funny behaviors are that he loves to sit on the windowsill and watch the birds outside, and he loves to play with my elastic hairbands. He will roll around with them and chew them all up. Sebastian also likes to taunt visiting dogs. He has been known to beat them up and then steal their beds and toys.”
See also: Dog Pics Guaranteed to Cheer You Up
Real estate appraiser Neil Adams said, “Technically, Karma and Ollie are my roommates cats but it’s been two and a half years now so I know them well. Karma is a big fatty who loves her cat food and spends all day in her cat tree. The only time she seems interested in anything else is when I offer her catnip. She’ll still stay in the cat tree but when I give her the catnip she’ll bounce around a bit and then get down with her nip. Ollie is skinny and has to eat a special diet but he likes chicken or tuna when he can get it. He’s not as enthusiastic as big Karma but Ollie is much more cuddly and purry. He has zero interest in the catnip. If they had jobs Karma would be on unemployment and Ollie would be a thief.”
Freelance writer Linda Melone said, “My cat’s name is Sephora. She’s named after my favorite store. Sephora loves getting brushed and loves it so much she rolls around purring and drooling. It’s a riot. Cracks me up.”
Pet fashion designer Ada Nieves said, “Martini Beethoven loves boxes. Whenever he sees a box he jumps into it right away. Then he glares, communicating “Don’t you dare take this box away. It’s mine.”
Happy cat mom Jane Mitchell said, “Violet loves drinking straws and adores her cat climbing furniture thingy. Violet rules the house from her perch.”
