Anyone who meets me knows I’m obsessed with dogs. Especially my dog. You may not know that I grew up with a stray that my family took in. The only problem was my mother’s severe allergy to cats. Mom’s eyes swell up, and she breaks out in a sneezing fit. The solution was to make a cozy home for our kitty in the garage. She was happy with the trifecta: a loving family, privacy, and freedom.

Cat Named Telka

My oldest sister named the cat Telka after an Egyptian princess. I envisioned a royal family with dark hair and olive skin — in retrospect, they looked suspiciously like my family. The princess had long black hair, large brown eyes, and full lips like Cleopatra but with my sister’s face.

However, I recently googled ‘Telka Egyptian Princess,’ and it appears there was no Egyptian princess with that name. In fact, I can’t find any princess from any country named Telka. Oh well, that only makes the memories more magical.

Telka waited for me every day. She sat at the curb across the street from my elementary school. I have no idea how long she sat there, but she had an internal clock for meals, so she must’ve sensed when it was time to come get me. I’d cross the street and greet her with a scratch behind her ears. Her reaction was to elicit loud, long purrs. Then, as we began to walk, she would rub her body against my legs, which made her purr louder. She walked around my legs, weaving as if drawing the infinity symbol.
I knew she was saying, “I love you to infinity.

My childhood home was a block-and-a-half from school. Upon arriving at the front doorstep she’d purr again, then run off to chase birds. The only thing I wasn’t crazy about was her proclivity for bringing me “presents.” Her gifts were poor little dead birds left in front of the door. Not only was it sad, it was disgusting to clean them up.

“Such adorable serial killers cats are,” said my Facebook pal Dan Collins. “When we got our cat Muffin, the family was overcome by his overwhelming cuteness. He was a little lint ball of a gray kitten. Who knew he would mature into Catzilla? At his best, Muffin was a lovable curmudgeon. At worst, he was a vet’s nemesis and the inspiration for Stephen King’s “IT.” Muffin never brought us a bird, but he was quite a good mouser.”

I asked my 2D and 3D friends what makes their cats purr. Here are the funny responses:

Lara B. Sharp, freelance writer said, “My cat Oscar purrs as loud as an idling truck when he sees the only non cat food he will eat. It’s nacho cheese Doritos. Poor little Oscar. He can’t meow properly. He walks around the house saying , “Wow, wow, wow.” But he makes up for his inabilities with an over abundance of enthusiasm. I say, “Oscar!” and he says, “Wow!” like he’s stunned that I have the ability to talk so he makes me feel like a genius.”

Andrea Beitler, who works for the nonprofit USO (United Services Organizations) said, “My cat loves licking plastic bags at night while I’m trying to sleep. He also loves snuggling. His name is Stimpy and we have a Chihuahua named Ren. Stimpy thinks he is the Lord of the Laundry. He loves lying on laundry piles. He also enjoys chasing his tail and bopping Ren on his head. He’s content lying in gift wrap at the bottom of a box. I never see him anymore. I just hear crinkle, crinkle. I tried to get a photo of Stimpy and Ren together but as you can see Stimpy gave me a look that said, “I will not sit with that lowly plebeian — even if it is for a picture.”

Melinda Dalke, the artist of Laughing Paws Art Studio adopts rescue cats. She said, “Miso and Saki love playing fetch. Sedona enjoys watching birds, Mocha loves my lap and Rebel loves everything —especially food.”

Freelance writer Shelley Renee said, “My cat’s name is Sebastian. He is a funny cat. Whoever thought up the term ‘catnap’ to mean a quick little snooze obviously never had a cat. Sebastian naps for about 20 hours a day. The other activity that he’s fond of is eating. Other funny behaviors are that he loves to sit on the windowsill and watch the birds outside, and he loves to play with my elastic hairbands. He will roll around with them and chew them all up. Sebastian also likes to taunt visiting dogs. He has been known to beat them up and then steal their beds and toys.”

See also: Dog Pics Guaranteed to Cheer You Up

Real estate appraiser Neil Adams said, “Technically, Karma and Ollie are my roommates cats but it’s been two and a half years now so I know them well. Karma is a big fatty who loves her cat food and spends all day in her cat tree. The only time she seems interested in anything else is when I offer her catnip. She’ll still stay in the cat tree but when I give her the catnip she’ll bounce around a bit and then get down with her nip. Ollie is skinny and has to eat a special diet but he likes chicken or tuna when he can get it. He’s not as enthusiastic as big Karma but Ollie is much more cuddly and purry. He has zero interest in the catnip. If they had jobs Karma would be on unemployment and Ollie would be a thief.”

Freelance writer Linda Melone said, “My cat’s name is Sephora. She’s named after my favorite store. Sephora loves getting brushed and loves it so much she rolls around purring and drooling. It’s a riot. Cracks me up.”

Pet fashion designer Ada Nieves said, “Martini Beethoven loves boxes. Whenever he sees a box he jumps into it right away. Then he glares, communicating “Don’t you dare take this box away. It’s mine.”

Happy cat mom Jane Mitchell said, “Violet loves drinking straws and adores her cat climbing furniture thingy. Violet rules the house from her perch.”

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Nancy Rogers, the vice president of K9Kastle, a New York nonprofit animal rescue organization, gathered a brave group that took a dare for charity. They jumped 65 feet to raise money for abandoned dogs and cats.

Dorri Olds: Tell me about your nonprofit K9Kastle.

Nancy Rogers: At K9Kastle, there are five of us that have been rescuing animals for years. I was born to do this. When I was 5 years old, I was already bringing animals home, telling my parents, “But I found it!” It’s always been in me. Joanne Douglas is the founder and president who got us a 501(c)(3), which made us a legitimate nonprofit group. I am considered the vice president, but I do all the work. [Laughs]

What made you think of doing the jump for charity?

I saw an advertisement for a new reality TV show called “Dare Me For Charity.” They were doing a 32-city campaign trying to get nonprofit groups that rescue animals to take on challenges to raise money for their groups. It sounded cool, so I e-mailed them. When I heard back, they didn’t tell me what the challenge was. They just said they’d be coming to New York and setting up various challenges. When I found out our challenge was a 65-foot jump, I was scared, but still game for it. I’ll do anything for an animal.

Read more…

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Yes, there really is a man named Henry Lizardlover. Born Henry Schifberg, this 56-year-old lover of lizards has shared his California home with as many as 60 for over 25 years. “They have different faces, bodies and behaviors,” said Henry, who has named each one.

Henry has 21 lizards now—Schneider skinks, tree skinks and Chinese water dragons. He no longer has iguanas. Some died after 20 years and others he found loving homes for. He’s brought lizards to lectures in schools, libraries and museums and has appeared on TV in Japan, France, Germany, Spain, Thailand and the U.S. “The foreign shows paid nicely,” said Henry.

So what does he do with the lizards? In addition to raising them with love and care, Henry poses them in lizard-size lounge chairs. They remain statue-still and he photographs them, sells greeting cards and writes lizard care manuals.

“There are some that are better behaved than others,” said Henry. “It’s the calm ones that are the easiest to work with.” He brings his lizards to Urth Café in West Hollywood every afternoon and shares the posed reptiles with intrigued passersby.

Why? Because he likes to.

“I’ve learned a lot from the lizards and met people from all over the world. Total strangers became lifetime friends. I met a lot of really nice girls too. One I should’ve married but I blew it—I was too caught up with my books and TV shows and pursuing what interested me most.”

Lizards are vegetarians who should be fed small leaves and pieces of fruit. They don’t chew their food. They’ll swallow whatever you give them. Never give human foods if you want your lil guy to live a long healthy life. See Henry’s website for loads of lizard care instruction.

Iguanas can grow to 6 feet. “Most of that is tail, though,” Henry said. “There are a few types of lizards that can make good pets but I warn people that iguanas are a total gamble.” Other types of lizards get frightened easily and won’t make good pets.

Pet shop workers will tell you what to feed a lizard but most don’t know they need direct sunlight for vitamin D and that without it their bones can break. “People buy a reptile basking light thinking that’s all they need,” said Henry. “These lights sell for $15 but don’t do anything more than a regular 50-cent light bulb.”

Some pet stores carry fluorescent UVB lights that simulate sunlight but most are weak and only effective if the lizard is 10 inches away and these lights must be replaced every six months.

“It’s important to remember they’re wild animals,” Henry said. “Lizards are quite capable of doing you harm. Especially iguanas.” Female iguanas tend to be safer but there’s no way to determine the sex until at least one year.

Male iguanas can be tame but they have a hormonal shift during breeding seasons and can become enraged when they see another male iguana. Hyped up with hormones they can easily confuse humans with other male iguanas.

“Then you have a very powerful animal,” Henry said, “They can leap—fly off furniture—right into your face and want to tear your face off.” They would kill their own son during a hormonal rage.

Despite the risks, many pet owners love their lizards. Abby Venzor, NYC animal activist and social worker raved about her pet iguana. “She was completely domesticated and roamed the house climbing onto people and eating out of strangers hands. I got the craziest looks from guests when they walked into my home and saw a 5-foot reptile on the couch. She’d lie on my cats back, they were best friends.”

Most of us know Geico’s Gecko from commercials. Leopard Geckos make good pets for beginners. They’re docile and friendly, have minimal care requirements, only grow to 11 inches and they’re inexpensive.

To rescue one of the many abandoned lizards visit: AdoptAPet.com.

To learn more about Henry Lizardlover and how to care for pet lizards visit his website.

Video of Henry’s lizards.

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Martin, played by two-time Academy Award nominee Willem Dafoe, is a skilled mercenary hired by an anonymous company and sent to the wilds of Tasmania. His mission impossible is to hunt for a Tasmanian tiger—a flesh eating wolf-like marsupial with stripes and believed to be extinct. Based on alleged sightings of this rare predatory animal, Martin’s employers send him to catch the tiger for its genetic material. The isolated world of hunter Martin poetically echoes that of the hunted wild “Tazzy.”
Under the guise of scientific research Martin is sent to stay with a family but finds the living situation far different than expected. Aside from the startling lack of amenities he’s also faced with two neglected children (brilliantly played by Morgana Davies and Jacek Koman), and a mother (Frances O’Connor) doped on pain meds. There is one friend (Sam Neill) who comes by to check on them, but it quickly becomes apparent that these ragamuffins need looking after. The autonomous Martin resents the emotional intrusion but mysteries about the missing father combined with rumors of the tiger sightings begin to crack the edges of the hunter.

It is hard to imagine anyone but Willem Dafoe as Martin. Director Daniel Nettheim said, “It is crucial that Martin is much more than merely enigmatic. The audience needs to find him compelling to watch.” Producer Vincent Sheehan said, “It had to be an actor who offered leading man qualities as well as being believably old enough to be facing his ‘last chance of redemption’ while also being profoundly physically fit. There are very few actors who match all of these categories. Willem does.”
The Hunter provides a haunted, eerie, voyage into a dangerous world that will make you hold your breath. Opens in theaters April 6.
Watch rare footage of the last Tasmanian tiger circa 1933.
Watch The Hunter movie trailer.

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