“Your father hurt his knee and we prepaid for the Grand Canyon hiking trip. Can you come with me?”

Seduced by the moment, and some Jewish guilt, I said yes. My head was screaming no. A vacation to me is HDTV and a remote control but Mom and Dad had spent the last fifty years of marital bliss traipsing about the world on rustic adventures.

So that’s how I ended up with mosquitoes chomping on my neck, hair sticky with sweat. I missed New York City and my dog and wondered if there was a hotline. Then I remembered there’s no cell service in the canyon. I looked up at Mom standing by a sign in hiking boots and denim shorts. Her strong runner’s legs and dyed-like-a-punker clump of pink hair disguised her age. The sign read, “Caution: Live Rattlesnakes.” A week of snakes, mountain lions, hiking and sweat had me nervous, but my biggest fear was of her. Of us.

My romantic daydreams of Grand Canyon never included sleeping in a tent with my 72-year-old mother.

On her sixtieth birthday Mom ran the New York City marathon. Whenever I’ve tried to run with her I’ve gone from jogging, to speed-walking, to hobbling. My mantra: “Wait!” For two months I trained—huffed and puffed up stairs in subway stations and movie theatres. Now I looked at Mom and the hard bodies of our fellow hikers and wondered if I’d call attention to myself when I collapsed on jagged rocks and moaned for a deli and a Diet Coke.

We set out on our ten-mile hike, my pack was too heavy, bugs bit me and I resented Mom for this awful idea. Just as I considered an early flight back I noticed Mom was bent over and walking slowly.

“Ma, you’re leaning to the left. Stand straight. You’ll hurt yourself.”

She snapped, “I am standing straight.” As she turned away she whacked me with her knapsack. Mom has always walked too close to me, as if I’m her appendage. Abruptly she stopped and knelt down. I asked her what she was doing.

“Hmm?” she said absentmindedly while she rummaged through her pack where everything was wrapped in plastic bags. Even out here in the wild open sky my muscles tensed to that familiar rustling sound. She retrieved a partially used Kleenex and blew her nose same as always—one hand held the tissue, then “choo, choo, choo.” I turned up the volume on my iPod and zoned out.

By the end of the hike Mom, who’d refused to believe me, was severely bent over. She looked frail and old and I felt guilty.

“Let me hold your backpack, Ma.”

She smiled but looked like she might cry. I held her hand and walked her to the van. Once inside, in a wave of love, I massaged her crooked shoulders. I asked if she was okay for our next day’s hike through Havasu Falls. She wasn’t sure.

We fell asleep at 8:30 p.m. I woke up in the middle of the night. I turned on the flashlight and froze. Two Jurassic-sized spiders were on the tent wall. Too terrified to move I lay still. I was scared. I wanted to go wake my “mommy.” I’d regressed.

Morning came, time for another hike, a crawl through narrow rock tunnels. I couldn’t believe I was doing this voluntarily. In place of skyscrapers, primordial canyon walls loomed, no car horns, no sirens, only the thunder of waterfalls. A cool breeze felt good against my cotton T-shirt.

Mom was feeling better and ready for the “scramble.” Natural footholes were worn into rock, metal pegs with chains served as handrails. There was no net. Vertigo made my skin crawl but I mimicked the hikers ahead of me. Mom’s voice snapped me out of my worries when she yelled proudly, “You scamper like a monkey!”

We hiked back to the campground. Our two guides whipped up a feast of dumplings in soy sauce and General Tso’s beef. One guy blabbered about visiting Bhutan where he ate yak heart. I was grossed out but recovered quickly when carrot cake was served. Shamelessly I licked the icing off two pieces.

Mom and I headed back to the tent. For half an hour I leaned on my elbow, struggled to hold my book, turn pages and read, all without dropping the flashlight. When my arm went numb I called it a night.

Awakened at two a.m. by rustling of plastic bags, my head popped up like a periscope.

“What’re you doing, Ma?”

“Looking for Kleenex.”

I asked her if she had to blow her nose. She did. We knew there were napkins next to the picnic table. Bravely I took the lead. The guides told us we might bump into bobcats or mountain lions at night. I pointed my flashlight to the ground, Mom gazed up at the sky.

“Look at the stars. ” she said.

I stopped and looked up. Indeed they were magnificent but I said, “Forget the stars, Ma, watch out for horse dung.”

We burst out laughing.

Then Mom said, “That’s a wonderful metaphor for life—people can spend their whole life on guard, or they can gaze at the stars.”

After having low expectations of the trip, it was surprisingly fun. I talked a local Indian into renting me his horse for a thrilling ride. Hiking, riding and schlepping had earned me extra calories. After stuffing myself, Mom and I walked back to the tent. She’d had high expectations and was disappointed. I asked her what was wrong.

“When you were horseback riding I was sure you’d be in an accident and I would have to turn off your life support.  And,” she sighed loudly. “I don’t feel liked.”

What a role reversal. The amazing networker uncomfortable around people? And me, the self-conscious one, at ease. I wasn’t accustomed to this.

I assured her that she needn’t care what the other hikers thought of her, she didn’t like them anyway.

“Stop trying to talk me out of how I feel.” She snapped.

When I pointed out how well she and I were getting along her face softened. She flicked a tear away with her thumb and I was overwhelmed by how much I love her.

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Today I met my first Prince! He is Italian Prince Lorenzo Borghese. Most people know him from the ABC show The Bachelor. He is an animal lover and advocate with a soft voice and humble demeanor. Lorenzo is the son of Prince Francesco Marco Luigi Costanzo Borghese (born 1938) and his American wife, Amanda Leigh. He is author of the book, The Prince of Nowhere, a historical novel and he invented a gentle, moisturizing pet shampoo.

Look for my article in the November issue of the New York Resident magazine!

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Printed in New York Resident Magazine • September 2011
To view this article as a PDF click here

The JW Marriott Cancun Resort & Spa is located on a mesmerizing stretch of the Mexican Carribbean coast. This luxury beachfront property is rated Category 6 in the Marriott Rewards program and a level 5 in the AAA Diamonds rating scale.

Outside on our terrace, during our first morning there, we sipped hot room-delivered coffee and gazed at the aquamarine breaking waves. Directly below us we could see the upscale Marriott grounds complete with magnificent free-form pools.

Bedding was 100 percent cotton and felt smooth to the touch. Our pillows were soft down and the mattress finely tuned firm. The sheets and plush towels were bright sterile white. Everywhere we looked in the large bathroom there were tissues folded into flowers, toilet tissue creased into seashell-like fans and towels sculpted into pockets that held aromatic oval soaps.

There was a comfortable loveseat couch next to a table and a large desk. Wi-Fi access in the room was reliable, fast and easy. Each room had a flat 32-inch LCD television plus the usual amenities—mini bar, digital safe, climate control air-conditioning, etc. The room attendants were lovely. In fact, the entire staff at the hotel must have been well trained, well managed and treated with dignity because they were all cheerful, friendly and eager to please.

There were many restaurants to choose from right there within the hotel. This worked out great for us. Most days we felt like lounging on beachchairs down by ocean. Whenever we got hungry it was easy to go enjoy a meal and get back to vegging poolside with a book, or napping.

At Sasi Thai the food was delicious. We chowed down on appetizers that included steamed shrimp dumplings, lobster with shitake mushrooms, and chicken satay. For the main course we split a plate of stir-fried rice with Portobello mushrooms, bell peppers and fresh basil leaves.

La Capilla Argentina Steakhouse was another winner. One evening we feasted on tuna tartar and seafood empanada appetizer, followed by entrees of herb-crusted rack of lamb with caramelized onions and Chateaubriand with potatoes and grilled vegetables.

The bountiful breakfast buffet was available every day. It offered scrambled eggs with fresh cilantro, plump sausage, crispy bacon, fried plantains, guacamole, rolled tortilla with beef, wedges of fresh iceberg lettuce, sliced tomato, orange and red tortilla chips, refried beans, and cold cuts of ham, salami and mortadella. Believe me, you wouldn’t go hungry. I was pleased to get my cappuccino just the way I like it, with skim milk and two shots of espresso. And a handsome man with jet-black hair wearing a crisp uniform served it with a smile.

We had a fabulous time at many of the local attractions. One in particular was crazy fun. It’s a club called Coco Bongo. Imagine a combination of Cirque du Soleil, MTV and a discotheque. The crowd participation reminded me of the Blue Man Group—complete with confetti, balloons, streamers, steam machines and constant sensory overload. I loved it!

The music was so loud it vibrated thru the floor and into my chest. It flashed me back to all the years spent at Studio 54, Bonds and Danceteria. Big disco hits from Donna Summers and KC & the Sunshine Band played. When Lady Marmalade came on the crowd went wild. I was so surprised to see the 20-year olds mouthing all of the words to these now ancient songs.

Next was Phantom of the Opera projected onto the huge background screen. Dancers soared from the ceiling on cables and ropes, while gyrating and performing gymnastic moves. During a tribute to Elvis his name was displayed in huge solid caps made of red pulsing neon lights. On the background screen was movie footage of The King performing classics like Jailhouse Rock and Hound Dog, while dancers matched the projected dance moves in the old footage.

The wow factor was even bigger than the first time I saw the Rocky Horror Picture Show phenomenon. At Coco Bongo, songs and dancers flitted by so fast, it was as if they were fast-forwarded via remote control. We were dazzled by an impressive tribute to Jack Sparrow, complete with pirates flying and one talented actor doing an impressive Johnny Depp imitation while the real Johnny, doing his beloved Jack Sparrow shtick, was simultaneously projected onto the back wall.

Another must-see adventure is Museo Subacuatico, a subaquatic museum, an underwater universe of art. Sculptor Jason Decaires Taylor created 1600 life-size realistic sculptures that are strategically placed to fuse with the undersea life. The artworks create artificial coral reefs designed specifically to attract sea life. The art changes over time as the coral grows in and around the sculptures and marine life settles in. The brochure said, “It promotes a sustainable future through human intervention in the regeneration of ecosystems.” Due to its harmony with the surrounding environment, the Ministry of Environment of Mexico, and the Nautical Associations of Cancun and Isla Mujeres promote the project. But, hey, besides all that, it’s tremendous fun.

Another excursion was a daytrip from Cancun through Tulum to explore the Mayan ruins. We learned about the extraordinary architectural and cultural accomplishments from an ancient civilization alike no other. Tulum is majestically set high on top of limestone cliffs that spill down to the turquoise waters of the Caribbean below. Make sure you see the temple, El Castillo, and the Temple of the Descending God. Wear lots of sunblock and don’t forget your camera.

And now, the highlight of the trip—the luxurious JW Marriott spa. It’s a womb with a view. The background music sounded like an angel’s voice, hauntingly spiritual as if heaven was singing just for me. The lyrics were “Come into my arms. I’ll be there for you.”

I was scheduled for a 50-minute Swedish massage with a masseuse named Vanessa Diaz. Eduardo Hidalgo Montecino, at the scheduling desk, was warm and tended to every need for each guest. I was ushered to a welcoming room with fresh orchids and tiger lilies. Vanesa instinctively knew where each of my muscle knots were and she kneaded them like pastry dough until they were smoothed and soothed. She was so in tuned that when I muttered, “That was the spot,” she said, “I know. I could feel it.” When I asked her if she’d consider moving to NYC and into my apartment, she laughed and gave me a hug. Her teeth were bright white against silky coffee ’n cream skin. On my way out of the spa I signed up for an 80-minute massage with Vanesa the next day.

I headed back to my room feeling safe and jello-mellow. I asked Vanessa why she chose to do massage. Her eyes lit up when she explained, “I was pregnant and my husband gave me a gift. It was for a massage. It felt so good and at that moment I felt my life changed forever.” It was such a profound experience that she told her husband she wanted to learn everything about why that massage made her feel so amazing. She took a course, loved it and realized that massage was what she was meant to do. She studied hard for three and a half years, left her job as a secretary and became a masseuse. She said, “I love my work,” and I could tell she meant it.

My muscles softened and I felt sweet, supple, and satisfied. The last thing Vanesa did was a chop chop hand motion on the back of my neck. I was like buttah.

Stress? After this trip—Ba-da-bing, it’s a memory.

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Beth Raymer has an MFA in nonfiction writing from Columbia and was the recipient of a Fulbright scholarship. LAY THE FAVORITE was her first book. I’ll wager this story wasn’t the only ace up her sleeve. We’ll see more must-read prose from this writer soon.

Also in the September issue of the Resident is my review of the luxury property, the JW Marriott Cancun Resort & Spa in Mexico. Learn about local attractions including a whacky club called Coco Bongo!

In the October issue look for my review of the book, JACKIE O: ON THE COUCH by Alma H. Bond, PhD. This author of 19 books uses her skills as both writer and psychoanalyst to create a pseudo autobiography of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, one of the most fascinating public figures and a true American icon.

Also in October, meet Matt Wayne, The Celebrity Magician. Wayne is a New York City-based magician, actor, producer and television personality best known for his work and skill as a performer of close-up magic. Wayne has lent his likeness to campaigns and charities and was chosen as one of 250 media figures to raise awareness for HIV/AIDS. He devotes much of his time toward animal charities and has a movie and TV show in the works.

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Dorri Olds

Subject Specialties:
Essay, Profiles, Book Reviews, Entertainment, Travel, Dogs …
Books: At Grandmother’s Table; Chicken Soup for the Soul: Tea Lovers; more …
Online: LittleBabyFace.org; RomoPlasticSurgery.com; more
Periodicals: NY Resident Magazine, New Woman, Marie Claire …

Member Web Site
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Here is some info about this terrific organization:

ASJA is the only professional association focused on independent nonfiction writers. Members share expertise, ideas, opportunities, and inside information critical to success in a constantly changing environment. Through services such as a member-to-member rights and fees database, contracts and grievance guidance, and diverse educational programs, ASJA membership gives writers the confidence and connections to prosper. How to join.

ASJA also helps current and aspiring independent journalists, both to further their careers and better inform and educate the general public. Our Educational Foundation’s public programs, such as the Annual Writers Conference, the Personal Mentoring Program, and regular webcasts, offer a wealth of information and guidance for freelance writers at all stages of their careers.

Editors and others can search our membership to hire experienced authors and journalists, or post a free job listing at Freelance Writer Search.

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Cover story of interview with Vera Farmiga — Oscar-nominating Actress and now Director of the new movie, Higher Ground

Review of “Magic Trip” — a new movie about the famous 1964 bus adventure of Ken Kesey and the Merry Pranksters immortalized in Tom Wolfe’s book, Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test. The movie hits theaters August 12th.

Soon to come, too, is a book review of Face to Face: A Mother’s Account of Her Son’s Suicide Attempt and Its Aftermath. It’s a riveting story about a young man who shot himself with a rifle and destroyed his face, but lived.

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Finishing up my August cover story for the New York Resident magazine about Oscar-nominated actress, Vera Farmiga and her directorial debut, Higher Ground.

Turn my attention to a new assignment from Petside.com (Buddy will of course make a cameo).

Write up a proposal for another star interview (I won’t say who yet… just to build suspend and to save face in case it falls thru).

Continue work on websites. One for beautiful miniature animal art by Melody Lea Lamb.

Finalize copy on my review of Magic Trip, a new movie about the famed Ken Kesey bus trip immortalized in Tom Wolfe’s Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test.

Continue to interview all people involved in my author profile/book review for Face to Face about a mother whose son shot off his face with a rifle in a failed suicide attempt and about the extensive expensive plastic reconstructive surgery he had to endure.

A brochure for Ann Woodfield and St. Bart’s church.

Social media for Dr. Thomas Romo.

Social media for Little Baby Face Foundation.

Feed my neighbor’s cat (she’s away).

Begin to compile all of my notes for my travel piece about Cancun, Mexico.

Make a phone call to receive instruction for my new brochure(s) project for a real estate company.

Follow up on PPGGNY (Philanthropic Planning Group of Greater New York) conference photos project (I am awaiting their captions).

Begin 2 more book reviews

Follow up on pitches to magazines, especially one on a personal essay that is probably the best thing I ever wrote (to date).

Watch Law & Order reruns while I do my 3 loads of laundry.

Count my blessings and exude gratitude that i have work.

Take a nap.

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Larry Crowne starring Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts opens July 1.
It’s about a simple guy (Hanks) who gets fired when the company downsizes. With a desire to start over he goes to college. There he develops a crush on his teacher (Roberts). Their lives had seemed sadly stalled but then an unexpected lesson comes along and rejuvenates both of them.

John Carpenter’s The Ward opens July 8
The master of horror, best known for directing Halloween, hadn’t directed a feature film in nearly a decade. Now he’s back with this story of a girl who wakes up in a psychiatric hospital after being caught for pyromania—she burned down a farmhouse. At the hospital she is disoriented and suffering from amnesia. The lighting is dark and creepy, there’s oodles of strange noises and malevolent ghosts. The other girls begin to inexplicably disappear. It’s not a great film but for those who like cheap thrills and jumping out of their seats, it’s fun summer entertainment.

Project Nim opens July 8 at the Angelika Film Center
Nim is a chimpanzee who became the subject of a 1970s experiment to see if an ape could learn to communicate with language if he were raised like a human child. It is a heartbreaking and unsettling biography of a chimp that people tried to make human. It’s more than just a documentary, this film will leave you feeling deeply moved.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 opens July 15
This is the epic finale. The battle between the good and evil forces of the Wizarding world escalates into an all-out war. The stakes have never been higher and no one is safe. But it is Harry Potter who may be called upon to make the ultimate sacrifice as he draws closer to the climactic showdown with Lord Voldemort.

Captain America: The First Avenger opens July 22
Based on a Marvel comic book, this movie is about a U.S. World War II army soldier who agrees to a top-secret military experiment. He is given supernatural powers and proceeds to use them to defeat his nemesis, The Red Skull. Lots of action and fight scenes.

BOOKS

I’m a Fan: How I married U2 into my life without going to the altar by Eric Shivvers
This is an inside look into one of U2’s most passionate fans. The author, a devotee of the Irish band for over 25 years, takes us on his personal journey. From the collapse of his parent’s marriage to sitting on Oprah’s couch shortly before Bono takes the stage for a taping, Eric shares with us his parent’s divorce, his battle with depression and more of life’s pitfalls, while U2 sits in the background playing the soundtrack. www.iamau2fan.com

The Social Climber’s Handbook by Molly Jong-Fast
This satire of Upper East Side elitists takes place during the Wall Street crash of 2008 and centers on socialite Daisy Greenbaum who will stop at nothing to prevent her husband from being laid off in order to hold onto his paycheck and her luxury lifestyle. She’ll do anything to protect her future shopping sprees even if it means murdering his boss. Though killing starts out as a solution to a pesky problem, it soon becomes a bit of a bad habit. You’ll lol as you whip through the pages. A deeply twisted tale was never so much fun. www.mollyjongfast.com

THEATER

You’ve Got Hate Mail is a hilarious Off-Broadway Van Zandt & Milmore comedy hit about an extra-marital affair going terribly awry when a juicy email is accidentally sent to the cheated-upon wife. “The perfect bedroom farce, expertly directed, riotously enacted by a five-person ensemble,” said the NY Post. “It doesn’t get better than this!” said Show Business Weekly. The playwrights have been called “the masters of modern farce” by The New York Times and are among the most produced playwrights in the world for over three decades. The show is performed weekly every Friday at 7 pm at The Triad Theatre. www.youvegothatemail.com

War Horse has been nominated for five Tony Awards, including Best Play. The star of the show is Joey, a life-size horse puppet. Experience the magical, mesmerizing bond that takes place between the entire audience and Joey. The story is set at the outbreak of World War I. The central character, a beloved horse, is sold to the cavalry and shipped to France. The play is based on the inspiring, moving novel by Michael Morpuro. Adrian Kohler and Basil Jones won a Special Tony Award for Handspring Puppet Company’s Artistic Achievement. The scale of the puppet is a dazzling thrill. Vivian Beaumont Theater, Lincoln Center. www.lct.org

The Off- Broadway hit Murdered by the Mob is celebrating its 15^th anniversary and shows no signs of slowing down. Mingle with mobsters, and maybe you’ll be made an offer you can’t refuse! The two and a half hour comedy features a sit-down dinner and dancing Presented by Murder Mystery, Inc., the company that has brought interactive mysteries for over 20 years now, the show can be found at Arno Ristorante on 141 West 38^th, just a few blocks from Times Square. info@murdermysteryinc.com

The Book of Mormon made history by hitting number 3 on the Billboard Hot 100. Created by Matt Parker and Trey Stone (South Park) it follows a pair of mismatched Mormon boys sent on a mission to AIDS-ridden, poverty-stricken Uganda to spread the gospel of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It is the oddest premise for a Broadway musical—but it works. Peter Travers of Rolling Stone called it “a musical blast: not just funny as hell, funnier.” The Village Voice said to “ask yourself, ‘Dear God, how do I get tickets?’” Eugene O’Neill Theater, 250 West 49^th Street. www.bookofmormonbroadway.com

ART

Otherworldly: Optical Delusions and Small Realities
While the digital world continues to expand, a profound human need to re-experience the actual and tangible has also arisen. People spend more and more time staring into a monitor or smart phone in order to interact with others in cyberspace. Now the pleasures of making things by hand in the real world has an increased appeal. Museum of Arts and Design (MAD), 2 Columbus Circle between 8^th and Broadway. www.madmuseum.org

Bastille Day on 60^th Street
Each year this event brings the best of France to New York for an afternoon of activities and delights for the entire family. Kids can have their faces painted and play games at the Kids Corner booth. Enjoy music all day, French eats and a myriad of attractions provided by artists and artisans from France.  On 60^th Street, Sunday, July 10, Noon–5pm. Free and open to the public. www.bastilledaynyc.com

Drop-In Art Workshop
Pre-school and young elementary-age children can enjoy their creativity at this lovely art studio. They’ll make exciting projects inspired by the lively, colorful world of artist Maira Kalman. The Jewish Museum, 1109 Fifth Avenue at 92^nd Street. www.thejewishmuseum.org

The Art Center, Mostly Art Summer Program Your child can spend one or more weeks this summer drawing, painting and sculpting, listening to stories, and enjoying active breaks. There’s a high ratio of teachers to students so children receive personal attention. Monday through Thursday: 9am–3pm, Friday: 9am through noon. Generous snack provided. Children bring their lunch Monday through Thursday. While eating, they’re read fairytales and fables. The Art Center, 423 East 75^th Street (between York and First Avenue). www.theartcenterny.com

This article was published in the July 2011 issue of the New York Resident magazine.

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