RIP Kobe Bryant … but…

Dear Kobe Bryant,

I never knew you personally but I saw how you inspired so many. And thank you for using your NBA fame to put good out into the world.

But I can’t stop thinking about how your accuser must feel now. She’s seeing the whole world honor you, the man who changed her life forever. Believe me when I tell you, it only takes one traumatic event to completely alter the way someone lives, the way the world changed for them. The way I never healed completely after what happened to me. I’ve been reading about her civil lawsuit against you, and the DNA evidence, and the fact that you shelled out an undisclosed amount of money to settle the case. If you were innocent — if you had not raped her, it is hard to imagine that you would have paid to rid yourself of what you did. I believe her. And I believe the DNA.

The Daily Beast wrote:

“Bryant is an 18-time All-Star, 12-time member of the All-Defensive team, and 5-time NBA champion. He will go down as the second-best shooting guard in NBA history—behind His Airness—and one of the Top 20 players to ever set foot on the hardwood.

“But when taking into account the entire breadth of Bryant’s tenure in the spotlight, the personal and professional, there will always be one giant question mark, one disturbing episode that gives even the most ardent admirers of [Bryant] considerable pause: THE RAPE CASE.

“The Kobe Bryant rape case has, in the annals of popular culture, been reduced to something of a punchline due to the aftermath—namely, Bryant’s $4 million, 8-carat purple diamond apology ring that he gifted to his wife, Vanessa. But what exactly transpired on the night of June 30, 2003, at the Lodge & Spa at Cordillera, in Colorado, may always be a mystery.

“Despite being charged with sexual assault and false imprisonment—facing life in prison—and tearfully confessing to committing adultery with his 19-year-old accuser, Bryant’s case never made it to trial. On Sept. 1, 2004, one week before opening statements were to be made, the case was dismissed after the accuser, who had been dragged through the mud for months by the media and Bryant’s defense team, informed the court that she would not testify.

The woman had filed a separate civil suit against Bryant, and had agreed to dismissal of the sexual assault charge against him provided the athlete issue [an] apology to his accuser….”

Navigating the world is so complicated. I felt physically ill when I saw The New York Times headline that you had been killed in the crash, Kobe. I felt sick. Shocked. Stunned. Then I heard about your daughter Gigi’s death.

Can I grieve for a man who raped a woman? I don’t think I can. Even though I had thought it was honorable to use your celebrity to help children. Now I don’t know what to do about my posts.

One thing I’m sure about is that my heart goes out to your 3 surviving daughters who lost their father and their sister. You were 41 which is a young age to die but GiGi was only 13.

I can only imagine what Vanessa Bryant is going through right now. My grandparents lost two sons in their lifetime. It is tragic whenever a parent outlives a child.

My heart does go out to your family, Kobe. You will be missed by many people but I am a #MeToo and cannot reconcile celebrating your life with the fact that you ruined that young woman’s life. I was never the same after being raped by my classmates when I was the same age as GiGi.

You will be missed by many, Kobe. But my feelings are for your family. It’s terrible to lose a loved one so suddenly. It is a tragedy.

RIP Kobe Bryant and daughter Gigi Bryant

When I saw The New York Times headline, it was like I was kicked in the stomach. Shocked. Stunned. My legs felt wobbly and I had to sit down before I fell down.

It’s so heartbreaking to think of his family having to go through this terrible shock.